(mood music for y'all.)
Dear ten readers, I suppose if I wrote on a regular basis I wouldn't sit staring at this screen wondering how to sum-up just the entirety of my heart & soul right now. Although, I'm fairly sure it was one of those specially designed hearts made for a constant overflow. Don't feel left out: all of them were made for that.
Let's see. I don't have anything to tell you. My life is in a whirlwind of a new job, squatting in someone else's house for a week, taking a trip to Virginia- to sum that up would be pure magic.
I decided that I've been more-or-less discontent for the past 22 years -or from whatever age I realized that humans are allowed to complain instead of just being thankful for what they haven't had taken away yet. I'll just let you think about that.
Yes, being discontent was my own fault- or the fault of whoever forgot to teach me to just be grateful. Really, actually, it was my fault alone... But (sun rising, birds chirping!) I figured out how to be happy! I'm guessing you need me to tell you how, so I will. Just thank your Dad in the sky for every tiny ridiculous thing from the bottom of your heart- or just thank the air; cause if you don't believe in God, he'll still hear you. One of these days you will realize just how much you have (still have) and your heart will be full of all of it; at which point you will just be happy with what is still here. Imagine the joy when you are not only happy with what you have but also with the realization of what you are daily being given- the scandal! the audacity of such a person to give you so much!
Contentment isn't a choice; it's a state of mind, a state of being. That takes a load off, right there.
I'm learning this stuff. And I am patiently anticipating the day when I reach that state without sacrificing honesty or the true position of my heart. In the fullness of who I am, I will just BE happy. God; what a great thing.
Would I want to be surprised by God's gifts, but not by his goodness? Yes. Wouldn't you?
Just some thoughts.
-L
