IN: Redding, CA. My hodge-podge.

I have a lot of thoughts right now. These past two weeks have been such a sweet journey into myself and into God. And I've learned that there isn't a way to separate the two- a journey into one brings you into the other. Well, anyway, this post has basically turned into a hodge-podge of my heart with no limitations.

(I strongly suggest watching- or rather, listening- to this video nonstop while you read the rest)

There came a point in my life when I realized just how much my parents had done for me, given up for me; and I remember having no actual great way to thank them, being totally at a loss for words. So, I just said,"thank you," the next time I spoke with them. But I can't recall feeling the same in my heart after that day. So this week I had the same day with God. And all I could say was, "thanks."But wouldn't you know, that was enough. And I still blush when I think about all he did; does.

"You said I am young, but I am yours, I am free but I am flawed. I am here in your heart. I was here from the start. Then, when the rain came and settled on your skin more like before, and you let it all in to your heart; its the only part, from the start, you'd set apart." (Benjamin Francis Leftwich, "Box of Stones")

Its been a few months now that I have craved to be open and honest about me, and everything pertaining to myself. I have such a personal need to creatively express everything inside of me; even if it is simply overflowing only in my personal areas (my bedroom, my blog, my clothes, etc). One of my recent expressive vibes has been to have photos taken of my husband-love and me. But not just the classic, cliche couple photos; I want just me and Joel. Just us being us; along the same lines as the photo above. I am also pretty sure that I will continue to feel this way about photography for the rest of my life. I want my life and the people who are important to me fully captured in their particular way so I can have a memento of our actual natures always with me. I want people to come into my house and feel like they know me because of how I express myself all over the place.

My favorite parts of my day are always laying in bed at night and in the morning with my man because you can never get those moments back throughout the day. It's the ease of not having to do anything and being tired enough to follow through with doing absolutely nothing but smiling, laughing, whispering, cuddling, and staring. 

So, these are the little bits inside of my heart. Love your way. 

-L

IN: Redding, CA. Baby Lovin'.

It is no secret to anyone that I have baby fever. I have had this fever for as long as I can remember; and then beyond that. I have video footage proving that I had the disease when I was in diapers, dragging my naked baby doll around the house by her leg and forcing a fake bottle into her mouth (whether she was hungry or not. "You're on my schedule now, fake baby!"). At any rate, it should come as no surprise to any of you that I have "The Plague" and to answer your insipid question: no, I am not pregnant, nor do I plan on getting in that kerfuffle anytime soon. Moving on now...

my fever in action with a real baby (my sister)

Apparently some doctor somewhere said you are supposed to "starve a fever," but he clearly hadn't taken into account my case. I prefer to excessively feed my fever until I get a "cold" from overexposure. I'm talking baby clothes coming out of my ears and offering to change diapers for free. Just call me Dr. Laci because my method works like a charm. There was a time when I offered to watch a baby for free- I met them in a grocery store. I wonder why no one took me up on it? Well, those days have passed and I am getting paid to soak up some lovin' from a 8-week-old little lady.

posers

With me and Joel getting ready to travel again for a couple months and still more epic trips on the horizon, we aren't in a place where we feel its smart to have our own little loves. So, I give my stored up affections to someone else's kid. And one day (whether sooner or later) we will have our own "mini me's" and I will unravel and be crazy about them. And as fond as I am of scheduling, I will try not to jam a bottle (or boob) in their faces.

sleeping beauty

I nurture by nature because God is a mother. One of the hebrew names of God is "El Shaddai." Shaddai is derived from another word that actually means "breast." I have heard it translated, "the many-breasted One." Rad thought: a lot of nursing mothers actually lactate when they hear a baby cry, even if it is not their own child. It is built into us to nurture because it is built into God to nurture. His natural response to our need is to leak provision (including our need for growth and development). Well, this concludes your boob talk for the day, everyone.

my little bear

Anyway, in this current (short) season in Redding, I allow myself to indulge in baby time. It is so necessary for me to nest wherever I am in the world and this is one of those investments to keep my heart open and full. Doing this job was never really about the money for me- it was always about being here, now. When you travel like I do, it is important to pursue things that keep you in the present at all times; no matter where you are- its called "putting down roots." I am not afraid to invest myself fully at all times- and so I live a full life. This is one of my very best secrets- shh!

-L